Vanity or Society? 

As I am sitting here trying to stay cool in this heat, I am thinking about what to write about today – I had thought I would talk about my time after hospital and being home but my thoughts are actually with my friends today……one friend bought me some rocky road when she visited, it was lush, much nicer than my rocky road, think I prefer marshmallows and chocolate to surgery and chemo 😉

In the past week I have had a couple of friends pass comment that they are sorry that they are talking about their problems or that their issues are not as bad as mine or that they don’t see/support me enough, it’s made me think – how do you quantify a issue/illness physical or mental, family problems children’s struggles/divorce. How do you judge one thing being harder to deal with than another. We all have struggles in life, no one’s struggle is worse than another, they are just different with different people dealing with them. I want to support my friends with their issues as I would have if I hadn’t had cancer, and I am so proud of them and with how they are dealing with their different issues, and I want to listen to their rants and support where I can, but I also appreciate that they care enough to apologise and worry that what they are going though isn’t as hard as what I am experiencing, even if I do disagree with them on that. The quote “hard times will reveal true friends” is so true and I am so lucky with my many friends ❤

I am sat here with less eye brows and eyelashes  (although I don’t notice eyelashes as I look at them, I just know thinning as my eyes are very watery – make up issue all of its own 😂) also thinking about my boy and what he said last night. He past comment that he is uncomfortable with the thought of me being bald when we go away – I did reassure him that I would wear my wig. This got me thinking (yes I do have too much time on my hands to think!) Is it vanity that makes me concerned with my hair loss or is it society? If I was male would it be such a worry, not just for me but for my boy? As a female I am lucky as I can wear a wig, as my eye brows disappear  (just not my leg hair 🤔) I can pencil/fill them in, could a man do this, would a man be comfortable with a wig? It’s fashionable to have filled in eye brows for a woman, so this would lead to it being socially accepted for me to do this. To answer the vanity/society question for me I think it’s both, I also think it’s about people knowing, if you wear a wig you don’t look like you have cancer, but if you are bald or wear a scarf or hat – you look like you are having chemo ie have cancer. And for my boy, me being bald reminds him that I had cancer and that chemo is a sod to go through/and to watch a person you love go through. On a positive at least he has said what’s on his mind and I can deal with that, just may glow/sweat a lot with a wig and hat on if the weather is good when we go away 😂😎👒☉

2 thoughts on “Vanity or Society? 

  1. Jo

    As always bought provoking and insightful. And I agree, I think it is both vanity – we all want to look our best when out and about, it’s just natural – and society’s expectations. But you continue dealing with all this so well. And really good that your son can tell you how he feels, that’s half the battle. Xx

  2. Linda

    Have you seen the episodes of Sex in the City where Samantha Jones has breast cancer? She gives a speech one day to a group of women and she’s wearing her wig, looking very glamorous as always. It’s a scorching day and she starts to sweat. Suddenly she stops talking and rips her wig off. After a moment of surprise women start standing up and pulling their wigs of too. It’s a picture of beauty and courage and ……..just like you ! Xx


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