This week is my “good” week, I do try to make the most of it, although I am having to push myself to make the most of it. I find stress and worry does knock me, it seems to alter my breathlessness which is better than last week, but still annoys me 😉 waking up to the dreadful news yesterday, does help you put your life in perspective, but then also life goes on, exams still take place, work still carries on. My heart goes out the the families suffering after the attack and the hero’s that helped – yet again our NHS showed us what they are made of, we should be very proud of all NHS staff and emergency services.
I am feeling ok this week, although my veins are very bruised and this is making my arm ache, my back is quite painful so I am guessing my nerves are coming back to life ….. I am looking in the mirror more and getting used to the new pert boobs (first time ever I don’t need a bra 😂) the only issue is my new boob is about a cup size smaller, so I need to decide if I can live with it or look at options of more surgery…my nipple also needs tattooing. As I get out and about this week I am getting used to my wig, however it is a great relief when I take it off and go bald at home. (I say bald, but my hair is starting to grow back, it’s weak so comes out easily but it’s growing – little happy dance)
Being out does take my mind off things, my daughter is trying to get through her Maths AS exams, she is struggling which is really hard to watch, she has the ability to get the grades she needs but something is going on in her brain which is stopping her from believing this and then making it hard for her to concentrate, the school have be fab with supporting her…but as her mum I want to help and take it away for her and I can’t. If I am sat at home alone I do over think things and probably worry more. She is amazing and I am proud with how she is trying to cope with her issues. And I can’t help but think it’s a lot to do with my diagnosis.
I had a lovely day yesterday, I managed a few hours at a garden centre with my mum, we had a few comfort breaks which included food and drink 😀 and bought some plants for the garden, the garden is becoming a small project, it is looking great which is relaxing for me, but also giving Mark a focus on something else, just need to now get the plants, planted. It was good just to do something normal. But the knock on effect is, I don’t feel so good today, I had to cancel a lunch date that I was looking forward to, it’s just a good job I have amazing friends who understand when I cancel on them ❤ thank you x
As next week approaches I know I will be more anxious as this next round, I am having a different drug with different side affects …… and my veins are already not happy, so how they will get a cannula in remains to be seen … but they know what they are doing and if painful it’ll only be for an hour and a half. And I know I’ll be able to cope with whatever side effects I get, at least I have my extra strong anti sickness for this round. The steroids will need to be taken, so my immune system stands a chance of fighting and nasty bugs. But after next week only 2 more left …. roll on August 😀