A really important quote to cling too, when feeling defined by cancer or any illness – you can get bogged down in the diagnosis, but it isn’t who I am it’s something I am dealing with at the moment ❤

So after the shock of Thursday’s chemo, I am more and more convinced it wasn’t a reaction to the chemo, they gave me IV anti sickness which can affect younger women (oh yes those magic words younger women – that’s me I am young 😂😇 if had energy I’d do a happy dance right now 😉) it can make you want to pull the cannula out and get up and want to leave ….. Well thinking back I wonder if it was more to do with that, I did feel cornered and a bit panicky, went hot and uncomfortable  (previous sessions I’ve been near a window, and had it open) it is not a nice feeling being hooked up to a machine and not feeling well and not being able to leave/get up without hassle. (Although next session i will walk about more as may help) The nurses were good, but they went into allergic reaction mode, I know this is because can be life threatening, but they didn’t really tell us what they were doing at first, shouting for help, get “the” box (this seems to have all drugs ready in it) it was scary and probably more so for Mark to watch. But at least they know what they are doing and do it well and all was well 😀 I will be asking for anti sickness to be the normal tablet form next time round ….. and see what else is offered when I see the oncologist next, hoping they may offer piriton type drug to take before just in case, not sure I want them to slow the dose down, but if needs must. Just got 2 more rounds to get through the end is in sight and I can bloody well do this 🤗 with all your help and support ❤

How have I been? ….. surprisingly okay, NO sickness this time, however this drug doesn’t make you feel so sick, I do ache, bit like flu and tired but the steroids don’t help with sleeping, I am irritable still, but this should improve as had last steriods yesterday. No sign of pins and needles or numbness to fingers and toes which I know is a really good sign, as that’s the side effect they want telling about, as they need to alter the dose because can be a lasting side effect. So yippee to not having that!! I have an appetite more than before, yep steriods again, but this should right it’s self now till next round, at this rate I’ll be rolling back to work after the summer 😂😂 

I am laid here hoping the sun will shine again today as my garden is the place to be, sat on my new bench looking at my new pond ….. we’ve got rid of children’s garden trampoline gone, adults peace regained ….. yay 👏