So yesterday was my 3rd chemo – half way through! I wake feeling ill, nerves? But why nervous done this twice already ….maybe it’s that nasty red one and my poor veins? But I feel sick and have diarrhoea, so took Imodium – should I have done this? Oh well I have now. Still one less thing to worry about. I try to sleep on the drive to Nottingham, but feel odd. Parking eak ….. this can be a problem and if anyone knows me well, I get car park stress, so I relax a little when we finally manage to park. We grab a tea and a flapjack with cherries to have while we wait, I know it will be a wait as they only send down for your meds when you arrive.  Maybe this will do the trick anything with cherries usually does, I hate waiting, I am a early person and I hate being made to wait, I know how busy they are on the ward, and understand why we are kept waiting and I would never complain but my blood pressure HATES it!! 2 hours after my appointment time, after sitting in uncomfortable chairs with my sore back (had it drained on Tuesday as still filling with fluid but that hasn’t helped this time, still uncomfortable guess it’s still healing) I am called through. Unfortunately my veins are not happy, the nurse said this is normal, as your body remembers things and didn’t like the red drug, she made one attempt to fit cannula and the vein wasn’t good enough, so had to use a vein used before, which they try to avoid, it was very painful both times, I am bruised but not as bad as I would have thought. I had electric warmers on my arm this time and I think that helped as my veins were fine as the red drug went it. My nose did react this time to the 2nd drug, tingly and heavy, this was very uncomfortable over night, and still isn’t right today.

It took 2 hours this time for all the drugs to be given due to the nurses being so busy, I think the pain of the cannula had really effected me, as I struggled to actually walk to the car so I sat in the sun while Mark got the car, that was bliss. I tried to sleep on way home, just trying to relax. Unfortunately my oncologist made a mistake with anti sickness tablets, so was unable to start with extra strong ones until today, so last night was awful, I was very sick – and being a lady of a certain age and having had 2 children I was peeing as being sick! ( sorry guys but I am being honest here 😉😀 – plus you gotta laugh really) may need to work on my pelvic floors more 😂. Joking apart yesterday and over night was the first time I questioned why I was doing this, you read about alternatives and cannabis etc, so why have I agreed to this? No answer other than to trust my gut decision when i was sort of given the options, i want the best chance of 20-30 more years here. I am still not great but managed to keep extremely strong anti sickness down this morning (strangely enough not the water I drank to take tablet – our bodies are amazing) forcing breakfast biscuits down to be able to take steroids and antibiotics. At least I have a sofa bed to sit on and look at my garden and listen to the birds singing 😀 . This takes my mind off my heavy legs, arms and odd nose.

Going back to my nerves from yesterday morning, our brains are very complex and I wonder if I sensed things were not going to go so well or was I just concerned about the nasty red drug? Or maybe I was unwell and that’s why my body reacted this way – guess we will never know, but what I do know is the only way is up now 😀