I have just logged back on here after a week away and realised I had actually started a new blog – explaining that I felt my body had lulled me into false sense of all be great this time round, as I had been feeling good up to 2 days after my 5th chemo. I started to explain I felt my rocky road had taken a turn into a dark tunnel (tunnel not cave as I knew there would be light at the end, just how long it would take to show I wasn’t sure) as id started to feel poorly, at this point on Sunday I wasn’t concerned just felt tired and mood was low, it was difficult to concentrate which is why I didn’t get far in writing that blog. 

By Monday tea time I knew something wasn’t right, my temp hit 38.4, so rang the emergency line, she told me pack a bag and come and see us at Nottingham…..by the time Mark was home from work to take me I knew I couldn’t make it to Nottingham even though that was possibly the best place for me. I had a tight chest by now and my breathing wasn’t good. Lincoln A & E it had to be, I hoped I wasn’t wasting anyone’s time, my daughter told me off for even worrying about that, I booked in, they were brilliant no waiting went straight through.

Cannula hell……..I can’t remember how many tries but the consultant had to do it in the end, it bloody hurt each try they did. I had an ECG and chest X-ray. At this point my bloods were doing ok, so they felt I had a viral infection but thought best keep me in over night and redo bloods in the morning, and give me fluids. So at 9pm 4 hours after arriving at A & E , I was told there were no beds and I may need to stay in A&E over night on their trolly! (The lovely Dr did apologise and suggested we write to our MP – when we had arrived the department wasn’t too busy, but hubby and daughter had been out to get a drink and said it was mad out in reception, people were ringing different A&E departments to ask what their waiting times were – apparently Scunthorpe was only 3hrs so a few were off there!!) 

Luckily a bed came up at 10.30 and I was moved to the assessment ward, to try to sleep. Temperature still high, but no one seems concerned which is reassuring, so we decided Mark would go to work and mum would come and stay with me. By mid morning my temp peaked at 39.4, this sent everyone into a tiss, new bloods taken which isn’t a simple process I had a nurse and a doctor squeezing my arm to get enough to check for sepsis. They check your white blood cells to assess this, at this point they were low but not too low, they make the decision to admit me to the oncology ward, still thinking it’s an infection possibly a throat infection. I move up to the ward being sick, hot, shivery and then cold. My temperature is still going up and down, peaking at 39.1. I have odd dreams and very unsettled. On Wednesday the consultant decides to treat it as sepsis and change my antibiotics to a stronger one but which will target more of my body as they don’t know where the infection is, today’s bloods are not good (a week after chemo they expect your white cells to fall so where expecting my to have dipped, but not as low as this) more fluids given, and an injection in the tummy to encourage my bone marrow to create more white cells. Going to see how I respond to new antibiotics for a day, may need changing again. They move me onto an air bed as I am not moving much – no energy to do so. Thursday results white cells picking up, but temperature still up and down, but I am beginning to see that little light at the end of the tunnel ….. then when trying to give me my meds through my cannula it hurts and burns – this meant another cannula but where?? They send for an expert – I liked her, first prick and it’s in, inside elbow so not most comfortable place but hey ho ….. now please temperature start behaving. Friday I am feeling a lot better but still being a little sick, my bloods are doing really well, so told to go off ward escape for a while, I’ve managed a shower for past 2 days as well. Then I get the runs!!!! And I am whisked away like a dirty person and hidden in a side room…….. I have to do a sample. (The consultant did apologise later that it was the potassium tablet and another fizzy one which I can’t remember, that gave me the runs) but at least in side room had own toilet so not annoying anyone else on the ward.

Saturday feeling a lot better just not moving too far from the loo still, had to do a poo chart 😉 I managed sleep as I asked for something light to help me, I am exhausted….Sunday the consultant said he wanted to send me home but could not as my potassium level was way too low, so given it this time via IV 16hrs worth. But at least I can go home with 5 days worth of antibiotics 😀 

I can safely say I am black and blue from all my stabbings and do not wish to see another cannula in a hurry, but I was in the right place, the staff were all amazing, considering I am under Nottingham the oncologist were brilliant with me, it’s a sad ward, we had 2 deaths while I was there. A lady was given 2 months to live, another lady had been there 3 months and was finally going home, I am the lucky one I am home with a cough but home, tired and a little low but home. Now need to have an open conversation with oncologist about next treatment ……. Thank you everyone for you continued support and sorry I scared a few of you, I scared me too ❤❤