Wow it makes a huge difference in my world, the rocks don’t seem so big and there are fewer in view.
It’s been 4 days since my last blog, and I am so much better, my breathlessness has improved, I have taken Lucy dog for a walk each day, this has helped lift my mood also. I pushed myself to get up and take the children to school too, I am still breathless and struggle to walk very far, but much better.
My arm is quite painful, my veins are not happy, but some paracetamol (as temperature is ok) helps with this. My back has been playing up this week, where my scars are and under my arm pit too, unsure why this is an issue now, maybe I am getting some feeling back….time will tell. And most people live with some pain or other everyday.
I finally went into the local coop, maybe my confidence is growing around my new appearance…..it was hard to do. I have never experienced a panic attack, I’ve been lucky in that way, however when I parked the car outside the coop, I could feel my heart rate change and I felt sick why its only the local coop, been in another coop in a different village. I had the strength to ignore it, and got out the car, I knew what I wanted so only went straight to those things, I didn’t shop around, I saved money that way too 😉 I paid and left. Success ….the world didn’t crash and no one asked any questions, although I am unsure why that would bother me, it’s funny how our brains work, the smallest things can seem huge and big things for other can seem small – we are all so unique thank goodness, but it means we should never judge someone, until you’ve walked in their shoes. Someone asked me early on if I felt like I was handling/dealing with my diagnosis as I had thought I would, I was able to honestly say that I had never thought I would experience breast cancer so didn’t know how I would react. I have learnt over the course of my treatment that you can not predict how you will cope, you just don’t know and also everyday is different. Everyone is unique – and every case of breast cancer is unique, the NHS staff work hard to make sure your treatment is personal to you, that is why they sent my cancer to the USA, testing to see if it was likely to return and whether it would respond to chemo. Our bodies are so different too, they react to treatment differently. I was told by a chemo nurse before I started treatment this, she said you could be sat next to someone having the exact same drugs but your side effects can be world’s apart. My body is doing me proud, it’s been through many things in it’s 45 years and each time it’s bounced back, this time it’ll be no different. God help my many friends once I am fit again 😂😂